2009 | U.S. | 127 minutes
Director: J.J. Abrams
Writers: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman
Cast: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto , Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Cdn video distributor: Paramount
By now this much should be obvious — the new Star Trek is visually lush with a slick new Enterprise, a hot new crew, and some of the best action and f/x the series has ever seen. This much is true.
But it’s also loaded with some remarkably silly plot motivators that transform once admirable characters (Kirk, Spock and all the rest) into younger and dumber versions of themselves.
For the last 40 years or so the Star Trek universe has almost become a religion. It is not just a franchise but also an idealized view of what the human race is capable of. The story lines habitually frowned upon self-serving attitudes because, in a future where technology brings cultures together, the need to acknowledge and respect diversity would seem essential (Star Trek: First Contact convincingly spells out how the human race would undergo this important change).
This value system was deemed especially important for the characters of Starfleet because, as frontline ambassadors, if they can’t embrace these high ideals — and behave peacefully and selflessly — what sort of example do they set for the diverse alien cultures they will surely meet?
It is this struggle to rise above their immature past — to better themselves — that has made the Star Trek characters so endearing, and the franchise a global phenomenon.
Yet this new tricked-out Star Trek largely forsakes this humanitarian philosophy in favour of spunky heroes who — despite being top-of-the-class graduates — have got a lot to learn about getting along with each other, much less the rest of the universe.
Kirk, for example (Chris Pine), is made into a reckless, arrogant hotdog who earns the disdain of everyone at one point or another — except Bones for some reason. The events that follow only support his inflated notion of himself. As for Spock (Zachary Quinto), he clearly loves his mother a great deal, but he’s also annoyingly pompous. The two perpetually get into power struggles until Kirk literally has to knock Spock off his pedestal (and out of his Captain’s chair) to prove his hotshot hunches will save the day. Now humbled, this supposedly makes them good friends in the end.
Meanwhile Uhura (Zoë Saldana) uses her sex and miniskirt (via her relationship with Spock) to help secure her assignment to the Enterprise. Apparently sleeping your way to the middle still works in the future. As for Scotty (Simon Pegg), he’s pissed about being stuck in the universal-equivalent of Alaska. Even after he learns Earth faces certain doom, he’s more excited about his unexpected promotion to the Enterprise than the fate of billions.
Only Bones (Karl Urban) comes off more positively because he’s the only one indifferent about his lot in life. He apparently lost everything he valued — “except my bones” — in his divorce.
Much of the advance press for Star Trek used the word “reboot” — and it’s an apt word. The plot feels like a computer system restart that spends more time reloading programs than running them.
And as upgrades go, this is the buggiest one I’ve ever seen.
The challenge the writers had was this: how can they re-introduce the old Star Trek characters — Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Bones, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu — and logically change their story (just a tad) for a new generation? Solution: Time travel and alternate realities.
The set-up involves saving the planet Romulus from a supernova, and the effect that has on a Romulan named Captain Nero (Eric Bana). If you’ve seen the movie, try answering some of these questions for me. I just can’t figure them out:
- Why would the Federation send a geriatric statesman — alone — on such an important mission to Romulus?
- Why exactly is Captain Nero mad at the Federation, and Spock (Leonard Nimoy) in particular? Is it because he’s a slow driver?
- How are supernovas the fault of the Federation?
- How does Captain Nero know to wait 25 years for Spock? As captain of a mining ship, what would he know about artificial black holes?
- Why the complicated, time-consuming process of drilling into a planet’s core when a surface hit of the “red matter” would likely do the trick?
- Why does elder Spock park his ass in an ice cave when a Federation outpost is within walking distance? Wouldn’t it at least be warmer, with more food?
Star Trek raises all kinds of head-scratchers like this. So how did it become a critically acclaimed box office smash? Thank goodness for non-linear narratives and lots of distracting thrills.
For example, we never find out the whole Nero back-story (the ultimate in baffling plot drivers) until the film is about 3/4 of the way through. Even then it’s explained so quickly (about 2 minutes worth of flashbacks), we barely have time to process how ridiculous it is. Besides, with scores of action and mass destruction — much more opulent then any previous entry in the series — who cares about plot?
Despite its messy narrative, the story of Star Trek still boils down to good triumphing over evil, with liberal references to past adventures to keep Trekkies happy (e.g. Wrath of Khan and its Centaurian slugs, Sulu’s fencing skills from “The Naked Time” episode, as well as Vulcan pinches, warp drives and familiar catchphrases such as “Dammit, man! I’m a doctor, not a physicist!”)
Presumably, if you dealing with a story that defies the logic of physics anyway, you don’t care about narrative logic either.
Still, now that this jumbled preamble is out the way, I hope the writers get back to more inspiring stories for the sequels — and, please, have the characters grow up a bit.
- Theatrical release date: May 7, 2009
- Video release date: November 17, 2009
- Production Budget: $150 million
- Worldwide Box Office: $384,953,671
FUN ALTERNATIVE: There are a lot of reasons why Star Trek: First Contact is one of the best in the series. It not only features Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard (arguably the greatest Enterprise Captain ever), it incorporates the Borg (the series’ most intriguing villains) and further sets the story at the imaginary pivotal point when the human race becomes Trekkers; a race no longer consumed with navel-gazing, but now inspired to think beyond its borders and seek harmony with others.
Of course, despite years of evolution, even someone as strong and idealistic as Picard can still be taught a lesson or two about humanity. The exchange between him and a relatively minor character name Lilly (Alfre Woodard) best illustrates this, as it segues into a clever reference to Moby Dick.
It’s a fascinating story with action, suspense, and the some well-placed comic relief. Plus, like the new Star Trek movie, it uses time travel as a plot device. The notion of time travel has always been silly — its use here is no exception — but at least the motivations for the characters make plausible sense, rendering them extremely likable.
Roger Ebert said in his original 1996 review of the film that “Star Trek movies are not so much about action and effects as they are about ideas and dialogue.”
Not anymore, unfortunately.